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Roman Holiday PART 12
(to Irving) Hm.
(as Irving takes a cigarette himself) I'll pick this one up, Irving.
Yeah, you can afford it
(as he pays the waiter) Well, what shall we do next? Shall we, er, make out a little schedule?
(turning to Joe) Oh, not that word, please.
(he thanks the waiter in Italian; to Ann, quickly) Oh, I didn't work sche- school schedule--I meant, er, fun schedule.
(laughs) Yes, let's just go, huh?
How about you, Irving: are you ready?
(as Ann puts the cigarette back in her mouth Irving flicks something on the lighter again) Er, yeah.
(he and Irving rise) Let's go
(As Irving pulls Ann's chair out for her a woman comes up behind him and greets him in Italian.)
(he takes out his cigarette to greet her) Francesca. Oh, er, this is...
Smithy.
She's a grand girl, Irving
grand--Er, five grand, Irving.
Ciao.
(calling to him as he leaves) Joe!
But where are you going now?
Honey, I got to work. I'll call you at night
Look at those men! They were supposed to be inconspicuous.
You asked for plain clothes.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (In the city, Joe drives along the streets on a little Vespa scooter; Princess Ann riding side-saddle on the back, her arms wrapped around his waist. She looks out smiling at the sights as they drive to the Colliseum, looming up before them.) (They walk inside the Colliseum, accompanied by a guide who points to the structure, instructing Ann. Joe follows just behind them, being joined now by Irving. They walk to the edge, looking down over the centre of the structure. Ann listens to guide, watched on by Joe and Irving who lights up a cigarette. Holding the lighter, Irving signals secretly to Joe who acknowledges him with a private signal of his own.) (Back on the streets of Rome and Joe and Ann ride along on the scooter, followed by Irving in a small open-topped car. Irving overtakes them and, as Joe points out the sights to Ann, he takes pictures out of the back of the vehicle, barely regaining control of the vehicle afterwards.) (Joe and Ann drive to a large intersection, where the traffic is directed by a warden who blows his whistle at them. Nearby, Irving pulls up, his eye on Joe and Ann. Joe and Ann get off the scooter as Joe goes to talk to the warden. Irving gets out of his car, peering round a streeet corner at them, a camera in hand.) (Seeing Joe busy, Ann gets back onto the scooter herself, curious to test out the feel of the handlebars. Irving snaps a picture of her as she gingerly tests the controls. Suddenly, Ann lets out a shriek of fright as the scooter takes off. Joe turns round and, excusing himself from the warden, goes after her. Irving looks on, helpless.) (Ann drives the scooter erratically along the side of the road, scaring some pedestrians who are crossing the road who leap back onto the pavement. Joe, running after her, calls out to her to stop. Irving runs back to the car. Ann, in sheer delight, keeps driving as Joe, laughing, jumps on the back of the scooter. The scooter suddenly goes at speed down the street, turning a corner, scaring more pedestrians out of the way.)
(putting his hands on the handlebars) Let me take this; let me take over.
(pushing his hands out of the way, putting hers on top) No, no, no; I- I can do it. (The scooter drives head-on into the traffic, going slower now, and delicately missing a car and bicycle. A tram honks at them as they drive across its path and it swerves to avoid them. Irving follows them with difficulty through the traffic, his visibility impaired as he passes through a stream of water coming from a hydrant.) (Ann mounts the pavement, driving between some people at a stall through a painting one of them is showing to the others. They drive through a sidewalk cafe, weaving between the tables as the diners get up, outraged at the disturbance. Ann continues on, knocking over a builder's workbench where a large man is setting up his equipment. Children run in to help him pick the materials up, blocking Irving's car in the process. Ann drives chaotically around a roundabout, scaring a woman who screams and jumps out of the way, dropping her groceries.) (Police whistles ring out as the Polizia get into their cars, joining two motorbikes which give chase to Ann and Joe's scooter. Ann and Joe tear away down the street, followed the motorbikes, their sirens wailing.) (Sometime later and Ann, Joe, and Irving stand in a room before a judge sitting at a table. In front of the judge are arranged the various victims of Ann and Joe's escapade, giving their testimonies and presenting their damaged goods as evidence. Ann and Joe answer the various questions of the judge then Joe presents him with his I.D., holding his head awkwardly back for the judge since that way it better matches the photo. The judge looks at the front of the I.D.: it says American News Service. Joe tells the judge something, putting his arm around Ann to perhaps better convince him. Irving intervenes, telling the judge something or other, although the judge looks unimpressed with what he has to say. Joe points out something to the judge on what he is looking at on his desk to which the judge reacts favorably. Irving, Ann and Joe--hand-in-hand, leave; Joe telling them something or other, saying goodbye to the witnesses and they smile back.) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (The three leave the police station laughing, stopping quickly on seeing the guard posted outside.)
(as they walk by the guard) Oh..
I'm going straight from now on. (They walk out of earshot then stop, Ann turning to Joe, puzzled.)
American News Service? What did he mean?
Huh? Oh, well, you know: say you're with the Press and you can get away with anything.
(laughing) Yeah...ha! go to church to get married on a scooter--that's a hot one. Joe's a wonderful liar!
(The witnesses come out of the station together, congratulating them, shaking Joe's and Ann's hands as they pass. The large man kisses Ann on the mouth and then turns to Joe, kissing him on each cheek. He turns to Irving but, on seeing Irving's beard and thinking better of it, shakes his hand instead.)
(slightly taken aback; as the man leaves, following the others) Ciao...
(to Joe) You don't have to look so worried; I won't hold you to it.
Thank you very much.
You don't have to be too grateful!
(smiling) Ok, I won't
(stopping) I'm a good liar too, aren't I, Mr. Bradley?
The best I ever met.
(dramatically) Uh-huh!
Thank you very much.
(looking over at a building in the distance) Say... come with me. (Joe takes her arm, leading her away.) (They arrive in a small, dark building. They walk inside and up to a large stone carving of a face in the wall.)
The Mouth of Truth.
The legend is that if you're given to lying, you put you're hand in there
it'll be bitten off.
Ooh, what a horrid idea.
Let's see you do it. (She looks up worried, but seeing Joe looking at her feels a resolve and, tentatively, she puts her hand towards the mouth. Irving, "lighting" his cigarette, looks on. Ann moves her hand, closer and closer but, losing her nerve at the last minute with a giggle, she pulls it back.)
Let's see you do it.
(he looks worried for a moment, then finds his nerve) Sure. (Joe takes a step forward, moving his hand onto the lip of the mouth. Ann, unblinking, leans foward from the tension. Joe slides his fingers into the mouth and then his hand up to the wrist. Suddenly he gives out a loud cry, pulling back, as if the mouth has hold of his hand and won't let go. Ann screams and rushes to his side, pulling at him from behind. Joe takes out his hand, apprently severed at the wrist and Ann screams in fright, putting her hands over her face. Smiling, he lets his hand spring open, out of his sleeve.)
(laughing, as Joe takes her in his arms as she throws herself toward him, playfully beating her fists at him) You beast! it was perfectly alright! You've never hurt your hand!
(letting her go) I'm sorry, it was just a joke! Alright?
(laughing still) You've never hurt your hand.
(calming her) I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Ok?
(regaining her composure) Yes.
Alright, let's go.
Look out! (Ann screams, running out of the building. Joe follows her, laughing, followed by Irving.) (Later on, Irving pulls up on a quiet street.)
(to Joe as he stands up to climb out of the car) I'll park at the corner. (Joe opens Ann's door and she climbs out. Joe is about to climb out of the open-roofed car but seeing Ann holding the door for him bends down under the rim of the door, barely squeezing through. Ann smiles at him as he struggles out. As Irving drives away, Joe follows Ann as she walks across the wide footpath, stopping before the huge wall covered top to bottom with small plaques. A little further up the footpath there is a woman kneeling down at a small prayer bench who stands up, crossing herself before leaving.)
What do they mean, all these inscriptions?
(walking with her alongside the wall) Well, each one represents a wish fulfilled. All started during the war when there was an air raid--right out here. A man with his four children was caught in the street. They ran over against the wall,
right there, for shelter; prayed for safety. Bombs fell very close, but no one was hurt. Later on, the man came back and he put up the first of these tablets. Since then it's become sort of a shrine: people come, and whenever their wishes are granted
they put up another one of these little plaques.
(looking back along the wall) Lovely story.
(taking her arm, directing her over to the wall) Read some of the inscriptions.
Make a wish
Tell the doctor?
(turning around) Anyway, the chances of it being granted are very slight.
(walking to them) Well, what now?
(hopefully) I've heard of a wonderful place for dancing on a boat.
Oh, you mean the barges down by Saint Angelo.
(excitedly) Yes! couldn't we go over tonight?
Hey, why not?
Anything you wish.
And at midnight I'll turn into a pumpkin and drive away in my glass slipper.
And that'll be the end of the fairytale.
Well, I guess, er, Irving has to go now.
I do?
Yes, you know, that big business development of yours that you have to attend to.
Ah-- (he remembers) oh, the development.
Yes, can't afford not to take care of that.
Yeah. Er, I'll, er,
see ya later, Smithy.
Good luck for the big development.
(waving as he leaves) Yeah, thanks. (Ann smiles after Irving as he leaves. They hear the sound of horses' hooves on the road approaching and turn round to look. Joe looks back at her, asking, then she nods, smiling. Joe whistles at the driver and they walk over to the carriage as it stops, getting on.)
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