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Roman Holiday PART 11
(sitting down) Hey, er, anybody tell you you're a dead ringer for-- (Joe kicks him in the shin under the table. In pain) Oh!
Well er, I guess I'll be going.
Oh, don't do a thing like that, Irving. Sit down;
join us, join us, join us.
(not sure) Well er, just till Fransesca gets here.
Tell me, Mr. er, er, Radovich: er, what is a ringer?
(IRVING to the waiter Oh, er, waiter.) It's an (IRVING Whiskey, please.) American term and er, (IRVING Yeah.) and it means er, anybody who has a great deal of charm.
Oh.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
(smiling back at them) Er, ciao.
Er, M--.
(to Ann) Cousins.
Mr. Bradley's just been telling me all about his work.
Mmm, I'd like to have heard that.
What do you do?
I'm the same rank as
Joe only I'm a photo-- (Joe spills his glass over Irving. He stands up angry as Ann tries to dry him with a napkin.)
I'm awfully sorry, Irving!
(barely keeping his manners) W-w-wha-? What are you--?
I'm sorry, Irving.
(to Joe) Look, I can take a hint!
I'll see you around.
Oh, but your drink's just here; please sit down.
Yes, here's your drink right now, Irving; take it easy
I'm sorry about that. Sit down, that's a good fellow
(Something*).
(sitting down) You're t-- (sitting down; stopping to wipe the chair dry) You're twisting my arm, you know.
(trying to communicate to Irving what can't say aloud) Just- just be a little more careful not to spill...
Spill?! Who's been doin' the spilling?
You.
Me?!
(with a half-laugh) Yeah.
(to Ann) Where did you find this looney?
You're ok; here's to you, huh? Here's hopin' for the best.
If it, if it wasn't for that hair, I- I- I'd swear that-- (Joe kicks his chair back and Irving falls to the ground. Ann screams in shock. Two men help him up, muttering words in Italian.)
(as they pull him up) Thanks.
(as him and Ann rush over to help) You slipped, Irving. Slipped?--you almost hurt yourself that time!
(losing control) I slipped?! ( JOE Yes.), I almost hurt myself?! Joe, I didn't slip!
(leading him away from Ann, pretending to examine his neck) ...got a bad sprain there.
(pushing his arms of him) Never mind I got a bad sprain, Joe.
(motioning to the cafe building) You'd better go in here and get it fixed up.
(going with him willingly) Well, yeah, I'd like to--.
(back to Ann; walking to the door, his arm around Irving's shoulder as if he needs help) Will you excuse us for a minute?
(standing helpless) Yes, of course; I- I'm so sorry. (Joe leads him to the back of the cafe, holding him around the shoulders, as Irving continues to argue.)
Now wait, now wait; just a minute; let--; look, Joe, what are you tryin' to do? now take your hands off--!
(reaching the back, in some privacy) Have you got your letter?
What's that got to do with it?
Have you got it?
Yeah! but what are you tryin' to do to me?
(firmly, as Irving tries to pull his arm away) Listen: what would you do for five grand?
(he ceases struggling) Five grand?
Yeah.
Now, she doesn't know who I am or what I do. Look, Irving, this is my story; I dug it up, I gotta protect it!
She's really the--?
(looking around anxiously) Ssssh!
Your tin-types are gonna make this little epic twice as valuable.
(musing) 'The Princess Goes Slumming'.
You're in for twenty-five percent of the take.
And it takes five G?
Minimum--Henessey shook hands on it.
(counting in his head) ...seven, five; that's- that's fifteen hundred dollars!
(sternly) It's twelve-fifty.
Ok, now you shake.
(shaking his hand as they stand up) Ok, now, lend me thirty thousand.
Thirty th--? That's fifty bucks; you gonna buy the crown jewels?
She's out there now drinking champagne that I can't pay for. We got to entertain her, don't we?
Joe: we can't go running around town with a... hot princess!
Ssh, you want in on this deal or don't you?
(his gives him the money) This I want back Saturday.
Ok, now where's your lighter?
Let's go to work. (Irving and Joe file out of the cafe and back out to the table where Ann sits drinking her champagne, observing the waiter who clears the table.)
(hearing them come back out, exchanging smiles with Joe) Better now?
Huh?
(to Irving) Your ear.
(as Joe sits; holding his ear) My ear? Oh, yeah, er, Joe fixed it.
Er, would you care for a cigarette?
Yes, please.
You won't believe this but it's my very first.
(knowingly to Irving) Your very first?
Mm-hm.
(nodding to Joe) Oh.
No, er, smoking in school, hmm?
Your first cigarette..
There; gizmo works
Well, what's the verdict, er... ok?
(she takes the cigarette out; smiling) Nothing to it.
(laughing) That's right: nothing to it.
(to the waiter at the next table) Er, commerierie,
(moving his chair round slightly to be more in front of Ann) Stretch my legs a little, here. |
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