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Natasha and Pierre, left alone, also began to talk as only
a husband and wife can talk, that is, with extraordinary clearness
and rapidity, understanding and expressing each other's thoughts
in ways contrary to all rules of logic, without premises, deductions,
or conclusions, and in a quite peculiar way. Natasha was so used
to this kind of talk with her husband that for her it was the
surest sign of something being wrong between them if Pierre followed
a line of logical reasoning. When he began proving anything, or
talking argumentatively and calmly and she, led on by his example,
began to do the same, she knew that they were on the verge of
a quarrel.
From the moment they were alone and Natasha came up to him
with wide-open happy eyes, and quickly seizing his head pressed
it to her bosom, saying: "Now you are all mine, mine! You
won't escape!"- from that moment this conversation began,
contrary to all the laws of logic and contrary to them because
quite different subjects were talked about at one and the same
time. This simultaneous discussion of many topics did not prevent
a clear understanding but on the contrary was the surest sign
that they fully understood one another.
Just as in a dream when all is uncertain, unreasoning, and
contradictory, except the feeling that guides the dream, so in
this intercourse contrary to all laws of reason, the words themselves
were not consecutive and clear but only the feeling that prompted
them.
Natasha spoke to Pierre about her brother's life and doings,
of how she had suffered and lacked life during his own absence,
and of how she was fonder than ever of Mary, and how Mary was
in every way better than herself. In saying this Natasha was sincere
in acknowledging Mary's superiority, but at the same time by saying
it she made a demand on Pierre that he should, all the same, prefer
her to Mary and to all other women, and that now, especially after
having seen many women in Petersburg, he should tell her so afresh.
Pierre, answering Natasha's words, told her how intolerable
it had been for him to meet ladies at dinners and balls in Petersburg.
"I have quite lost the knack of talking to ladies,"
he said. "It was simply dull. Besides, I was very busy."
Natasha looked intently at him and went on:
"Mary is so splendid," she said. "How she understands
children! It is as if she saw straight into their souls. Yesterday,
for instance, Mitya was naughty..."
"How like his father he is," Pierre interjected.
Natasha knew why he mentioned Mitya's likeness to Nicholas:
the recollection of his dispute with his brother-in-law was unpleasant
and he wanted to know what Natasha thought of it.
"Nicholas has the weakness of never agreeing with anything
not generally accepted. But I understand that you value what opens
up a fresh line," said she, repeating words Pierre had once
uttered.
"No, the chief point is that to Nicholas ideas and discussions
are an amusement- almost a pastime," said Pierre. "For
instance, he is collecting a library and has made it a rule not
to buy a new book till he has read what he had already bought-
Sismondi and Rousseau and Montesquieu," he added with a smile.
"You know how much I..." he began to soften down what
he had said; but Natasha interrupted him to show that this was
unnecessary.
"So you say ideas are an amusement to him...."
"Yes, and for me nothing else is serious. All the time
in Petersburg I saw everyone as in a dream. When I am taken up
by a thought, all else is mere amusement."
"Ah, I'm so sorry I wasn't there when you met the children,"
said Natasha. "Which was most delighted? Lisa, I'm sure."
"Yes," Pierre replied, and went on with what was
in his mind. "Nicholas says we ought not to think. But I
can't help it. Besides, when I was in Petersburg I felt (I can
this to you) that the whole affair would go to pieces without
me- everyone was pulling his own way. But I succeeded in uniting
them all; and then my idea is so clear and simple. You see, I
don't say that we ought to oppose this and that. We may be mistaken.
What I say is: 'Join hands, you who love the right, and let there
be but one banner- that of active virtue.' Prince Sergey is a
fine fellow and clever."
Natasha would have had no doubt as to the greatness of Pierre's
idea, but one thing disconcerted her. "Can a man so important
and necessary to society be also my husband? How did this happen?"
She wished to express this doubt to him. "Now who could decide
whether he is really cleverer than all the others?" she asked
herself, and passed in review all those whom Pierre most respected.
Judging by what he had said there was no one he had respected
so highly as Platon Karataev.
"Do you know what I am thinking about?" she asked.
"About Platon Karataev. Would he have approved of you now,
do you think?"
Pierre was not at all surprised at this question. He understood
his wife's line of thought.
"Platon Karataev?" he repeated, and pondered, evidently
sincerely trying to imagine Karataev's opinion on the subject.
"He would not have understood... yet perhaps he would."
"I love you awfully!" Natasha suddenly said. "Awfully,
awfully!"
"No, he would not have approved," said Pierre, after
reflection. "What he would have approved of is our family
life. He was always so anxious to find seemliness, happiness,
and peace in everything, and I should have been proud to let him
see us. There now- you talk of my absence, but you wouldn't believe
what a special feeling I have for you after a separation...."
"Yes, I should think..." Natasha began.
"No, it's not that. I never leave off loving you. And
one couldn't love more, but this is something special.... Yes,
of course-" he did not finish because their eyes meeting
said the rest.
"What nonsense it is," Natasha suddenly exclaimed,
"about honeymoons, and that the greatest happiness is at
first! On the contrary, now is the best of all. If only you did
not go away! Do you remember how we quarreled? And it was always
my fault. Always mine. And what we quarreled about- I don't even
remember!"
"Always about the same thing," said Pierre with
a smile. "Jealo..."
"Don't say it! I can't bear it!" Natasha cried,
and her eyes glittered coldly and vindictively. "Did you
see her?" she added, after a pause.
"No, and if I had I shouldn't have recognized her."
They were silent for a while.
"Oh, do you know? While you were talking in the study
I was looking at you," Natasha began, evidently anxious to
disperse the cloud that had come over them. "You are as like
him as two peas- like the boy." (She meant her little son.)
"Oh, it's time to go to him.... The milk's come.... But I'm
sorry to leave you."
They were silent for a few seconds. Then suddenly turning
to one another at the same time they both began to speak. Pierre
began with self-satisfaction and enthusiasm, Natasha with a quiet,
happy smile. Having interrupted one another they both stopped
to let the other continue.
"No. What did you say? Go on, go on."
"No, you go on, I was talking nonsense," said Natasha.
Pierre finished what he had begun. It was the sequel to his
complacent reflections on his success in Petersburg. At that moment
it seemed to him that he was chosen to give a new direction to
the whole of Russian society and to the whole world.
"I only wished to say that ideas that have great results
are always simple ones. My whole idea is that if vicious people
are united and constitute a power, then honest folk must do the
same. Now that's simple enough."
"Yes."
"And what were you going to say?"
"I? Only nonsense."
"But all the same?"
"Oh nothing, only a trifle," said Natasha, smilingly
still more brightly. "I only wanted to tell you about Petya:
today nurse was coming to take him from me, and he laughed, shut
his eyes, and clung to me. I'm sure he thought he was hiding.
Awfully sweet! There, now he's crying. Well, good-by!" and
she left the room.
Meanwhile downstairs in young Nicholas Bolkonski's bedroom
a little lamp was burning as usual. (The boy was afraid of the
dark and they could not cure him of it.) Dessalles slept propped
up on four pillows and his Roman nose emitted sounds of rhythmic
snoring. Little Nicholas, who had just waked up in a cold perspiration,
sat up in bed and gazed before him with wide-open eyes. He had
awaked from a terrible dream. He had dreamed that he and Uncle
Pierre, wearing helmets such as were depicted in his Plutarch,
were leading a huge army. The army was made up of white slanting
lines that filled the air like the cobwebs that float about in
autumn and which Dessalles called les fils de la Vierge. In front
was Glory, which was similar to those threads but rather thicker.
He and Pierre were borne along lightly and joyously, nearer and
nearer to their goal. Suddenly the threads that moved them began
to slacken and become entangled and it grew difficult to move.
And Uncle Nicholas stood before them in a stern and threatening
attitude.
"Have you done this?" he said, pointing to some
broken sealing wax and pens. "I loved you, but I have orders
from Arakcheev and will kill the first of you who moves forward."
Little Nicholas turned to look at Pierre but Pierre was no longer
there. In his place was his father- Prince Andrew- and his father
had neither shape nor form, but he existed, and when little Nicholas
perceived him he grew faint with love: he felt himself powerless,
limp, and formless. His father caressed and pitied him. But Uncle
Nicholas came nearer and nearer to them. Terror seized young Nicholas
and he awoke.
"My father!" he thought. (Though there were two
good portraits of Prince Andrew in the house, Nicholas never imagined
him in human form.) "My father has been with me and caressed
me. He approved of me and of Uncle Pierre. Whatever he may tell
me, I will do it. Mucius Scaevola burned his hand. Why should
not the same sort of thing happen to me? I know they want me to
learn. And I will learn. But someday I shall have finished learning,
and then I will do something. I only pray God that something may
happen to me such as happened to Plutarch's men, and I will act
as they did. I will do better. Everyone shall know me, love me,
and be delighted with me!" And suddenly his bosom heaved
with sobs and he began to cry.
"Are you ill?" he heard Dessalles' voice asking.
"No," answered Nicholas, and lay back on his pillow.
"He is good and kind and I am fond of him!" he thought
of Dessalles. "But Uncle Pierre! Oh, what a wonderful man
he is! And my father? Oh, Father, Father! Yes, I will do something
with which even he would be satisfied...."
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