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Soon after the Christmas holidays Nicholas told his mother
of his love for Sonya and of his firm resolve to marry her. The
countess, who had long noticed what was going on between them
and was expecting this declaration, listened to him in silence
and then told her son that he might marry whom he pleased, but
that neither she nor his father would give their blessing to such
a marriage. Nicholas, for the first time, felt that his mother
was displeased with him and that, despite her love for him, she
would not give way. Coldly, without looking at her son, she sent
for her husband and, when he came, tried briefly and coldly to
inform him of the facts, in her son's presence, but unable to
restrain herself she burst into tears of vexation and left the
room. The old count began irresolutely to admonish Nicholas and
beg him to abandon his purpose. Nicholas replied that he could
not go back on his word, and his father, sighing and evidently
disconcerted, very soon became silent and went in to the countess.
In all his encounters with his son, the count was always conscious
of his own guilt toward him for having wasted the family fortune,
and so he could not be angry with him for refusing to marry an
heiress and choosing the dowerless Sonya. On this occasion, he
was only more vividly conscious of the fact that if his affairs
had not been in disorder, no better wife for Nicholas than Sonya
could have been wished for, and that no one but himself with his
Mitenka and his uncomfortable habits was to blame for the condition
of the family finances.
The father and mother did not speak of the matter to their
son again, but a few days later the countess sent for Sonya and,
with a cruelty neither of them expected, reproached her niece
for trying to catch Nicholas and for ingratitude. Sonya listened
silently with downcast eyes to the countess' cruel words, without
understanding what was required of her. She was ready to sacrifice
everything for her benefactors. Self-sacrifice was her most cherished
idea but in this case she could not see what she ought to sacrifice,
or for whom. She could not help loving the countess and the whole
Rostov family, but neither could she help loving Nicholas and
knowing that his happiness depended on that love. She was silent
and sad and did not reply. Nicholas felt the situation to be intolerable
and went to have an explanation with his mother. He first implored
her to forgive him and Sonya and consent to their marriage, then
he threatened that if she molested Sonya he would at once marry
her secretly.
The countess, with a coldness her son had never seen in her
before, replied that he was of age, that Prince Andrew was marrying
without his father's consent, and he could do the same, but that
she would never receive that intriguer as her daughter.
Exploding at the word intriguer, Nicholas, raising his voice,
told his mother he had never expected her to try to force him
to sell his feelings, but if that were so, he would say for the
last time.... But he had no time to utter the decisive word which
the expression of his face caused his mother to await with terror,
and which would perhaps have forever remained a cruel memory to
them both. He had not time to say it, for Natasha, with a pale
and set face, entered the room from the door at which she had
been listening.
"Nicholas, you are talking nonsense! Be quiet, be quiet,
be quiet, I tell you!..." she almost screamed, so as to drown
his voice.
"Mamma darling, it's not at all so... my poor, sweet
darling," she said to her mother, who conscious that they
had been on the brink of a rupture gazed at her son with terror,
but in the obstinacy and excitement of the conflict could not
and would not give way.
"Nicholas, I'll explain to you. Go away! Listen, Mamma
darling," said Natasha.
Her words were incoherent, but they attained the purpose at
which she was aiming.
The countess, sobbing heavily, hid her face on her daughter's
breast, while Nicholas rose, clutching his head, and left the
room.
Natasha set to work to effect a reconciliation, and so far
succeeded that Nicholas received a promise from his mother that
Sonya should not be troubled, while he on his side promised not
to undertake anything without his parents' knowledge.
Firmly resolved, after putting his affairs in order in the
regiment, to retire from the army and return and marry Sonya,
Nicholas, serious, sorrowful, and at variance with his parents,
but, as it seemed to him, passionately in love, left at the beginning
of January to rejoin his regiment.
After Nicholas had gone things in the Rostov household were
more depressing than ever, and the countess fell ill from mental
agitation.
Sonya was unhappy at the separation from Nicholas and still
more so on account of the hostile tone the countess could not
help adopting toward her. The count was more perturbed than ever
by the condition of his affairs, which called for some decisive
action. Their town house and estate near Moscow had inevitably
to be sold, and for this they had to go to Moscow. But the countess'
health obliged them to delay their departure from day to day.
Natasha, who had borne the first period of separation from
her betrothed lightly and even cheerfully, now grew more agitated
and impatient every day. The thought that her best days, which
she would have employed in loving him, were being vainly wasted,
with no advantage to anyone, tormented her incessantly. His letters
for the most part irritated her. It hurt her to think that while
she lived only in the thought of him, he was living a real life,
seeing new places and new people that interested him. The more
interesting his letters were the more vexed she felt. Her letters
to him, far from giving her any comfort, seemed to her a wearisome
and artificial obligation. She could not write, because she could
not conceive the possibility of expressing sincerely in a letter
even a thousandth part of what she expressed by voice, smile,
and glance. She wrote to him formal, monotonous, and dry letters,
to which she attached no importance herself, and in the rough
copies of which the countess corrected her mistakes in spelling.
There was still no improvement in the countess' health, but
it was impossible to defer the journey to Moscow any longer. Natasha's
trousseau had to be ordered and the house sold. Moreover, Prince
Andrew was expected in Moscow, where old Prince Bolkonski was
spending the winter, and Natasha felt sure he had already arrived.
So the countess remained in the country, and the count, taking
Sonya and Natasha with him, went to Moscow at the end of January.
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