| A WEEK passed, and no news arrived of Mr. Rochester: ten days,
and still he did not come. Mrs. Fairfax said she should not be surprised
if he were to go straight from the Leas to London, and thence to
the Continent, and not show his face again at Thornfield for a year
to come; he had not unfrequently quitted it in a manner quite as
abrupt and unexpected. When I heard this, I was beginning to feel
a strange chill and failing at the heart. I was actually permitting
myself to experience a sickening sense of disappointment; but rallying
my wits, and recollecting my principles, I at once called my sensations
to order; and it was wonderful how I got over the temporary blunder-
how I cleared up the mistake of supposing Mr. Rochester's movements
a matter in which I had any cause to take a vital interest. Not
that I humbled myself by a slavish notion of inferiority: on the
contrary, I just said-
'You have nothing to do with the master of Thornfield, further
than to receive the salary he gives you for teaching his protegee,
and to be grateful for such respectful and kind treatment as,
if you do your duty, you have a right to expect at his hands.
Be sure that is the only tie he seriously acknowledges between
you and him; so don't make him the object of your fine feelings,
your raptures, agonies, and so forth. He is not of your order:
keep to your caste, and be too self-respecting to lavish the love
of the whole heart, soul, and strength, where such a gift is not
wanted and would be despised.'
I went on with my day's business tranquilly; but ever and anon
vague suggestions kept wandering across my brain of reasons why
I should quit Thornfield; and I kept involuntarily framing advertisements
and pondering conjectures about new situations: these thoughts
I did not think it necessary to check; they might germinate and
bear fruit if they could.
Mr. Rochester had been absent upwards of a fortnight, when the
post brought Mrs. Fairfax a letter.
'It is from the master,' said she, as she looked at the direction.
'Now I suppose we shall know whether we are to expect his return
or not.'
And while she broke the seal and perused the document, I went
on taking my coffee (we were at breakfast): it was hot, and I
attributed to that circumstance a fiery glow which suddenly rose
to my face. Why my hand shook, and why I involuntarily spilt half
the contents of my cup into my saucer, I did not choose to consider.
'Well, I sometimes think we are too quiet; but we run a chance
of being busy enough now: for a little while at least,' said Mrs.
Fairfax, still holding the note before her spectacles.
Ere I permitted myself to request an explanation, I tied the
string of Adele's pinafore, which happened to be loose: having
helped her also to another bun and refilled her mug with milk,
I said nonchalantly-
'Mr. Rochester is not likely to return soon, I suppose?'
'Indeed he is- in three days, he says: that will be next Thursday;
and not alone either. I don't know how many of the fine people
at the Leas are coming with him: he sends directions for all the
best bedrooms to be prepared; and the library and drawing-rooms
are to be cleaned out; and I am to get more kitchen hands from
the George Inn, at Millcote, and from wherever else I can; and
the ladies will bring their maids and the gentlemen their valets:
so we shall have a full house of it.' And Mrs. Fairfax swallowed
her breakfast and hastened away to commence operations.
The three days were, as she had foretold, busy enough. I had
thought all the rooms at Thornfield beautifully clean and well
arranged; but it appears I was mistaken. Three women were got
to help; and such scrubbing, such brushing, such washing of paint
and beating of carpets, such taking down and putting up of pictures,
such polishing of mirrors and lustres, such lighting of fires
in bedrooms, such airing of sheets and feather-beds on hearths,
I never beheld, either before or since. Adele ran quite wild in
the midst of it: the preparations for company and the prospect
of their arrival, seemed to throw her into ecstasies. She would
have Sophie to look over all her 'toilettes,' as she called frocks;
to furbish up any that were 'passees,' and to air and arrange
the new. For herself, she did nothing but caper about in the front
chambers, jump on and off the bedsteads, and lie on the mattresses
and piled-up bolsters and pillows before the enormous fires roaring
in the chimneys. From school duties she was exonerated: Mrs. Fairfax
had pressed me into her service, and I was all day in the storeroom,
helping (or hindering) her and the cook; learning to make custards
and cheese-cakes and French pastry, to truss game and garnish
dessert-dishes.
The party were expected to arrive on Thursday afternoon, in time
for dinner at six. During the intervening period I had no time
to nurse chimeras; and I believe I was as active and gay as anybody-
Adele excepted. Still, now and then, I received a damping check
to my cheerfulness; and was, in spite of myself, thrown back on
the region of doubts and portents, and dark conjectures. This
was when I chanced to see the third-storey staircase door (which
of late had always been kept locked) open slowly, and give passage
to the form of Grace Poole, in prim cap, white apron, and handkerchief;
when I watched her glide along the gallery, her quiet tread muffled
in a list slipper; when I saw her look into the bustling, topsy-turvy
bedrooms,- just say a word, perhaps, to the charwoman about the
proper way to polish a grate, or clean a marble mantelpiece, or
take stains from papered walls, and then pass on. She would thus
descend to the kitchen once a day, eat her dinner, smoke a moderate
pipe on the hearth, and go back, carrying her pot of porter with
her, for her private solace, in her own gloomy, upper haunt. Only
one hour in the twenty-four did she pass with her fellow-servants
below; all the rest of her time was spent in some low-ceiled,
oaken chamber of the second storey: there she sat and sewed- and
probably laughed drearily to herself,- as companionless as a prisoner
in his dungeon.
The strangest thing of all was, that not a soul in the house,
except me, noticed her habits, or seemed to marvel at them: no
one discussed her position or employment; no one pitied her solitude
or isolation. I once, indeed, overheard part of a dialogue between
Leah and one of the charwomen, of which Grace formed the subject.
Leah had been saying something I had not caught, and the charwoman
remarked-
'She gets good wages, I guess?'
'Yes,' said Leah; 'I wish I had as good; not that mine are to
complain of,- there's no stinginess at Thornfield; but they're
not one fifth of the sum Mrs. Poole receives. And she is laying
by: she goes every quarter to the bank at Millcote. I should not
wonder but she has saved enough to keep her independent if she
liked to leave; but I suppose she's got used to the place; and
then she's not forty yet, and strong and able for anything. It
is too soon for her to give up business.'
'She is a good hand, I daresay,' said the charwoman.
'Ah!- she understands what she has to do,- nobody better,' rejoined
Leah significantly; 'and it is not every one could fill her shoes-
not for all the money she gets.'
'That it is not!' was the reply. 'I wonder whether the master-'
The charwoman was going on; but here Leah turned and perceived
me, and she instantly gave her companion a nudge.
'Doesn't she know?' I heard the woman whisper.
Leah shook her head, and the conversation was of course dropped.
All I had gathered from it amounted to this,- that there was a
mystery at Thornfield; and that from participation in that mystery
I was purposely excluded.
Thursday came: all work had been completed the previous evening;
carpets were laid down, bed-hangings festooned, radiant white
counterpanes spread, toilet tables arranged, furniture rubbed,
flowers piled in vases: both chambers and saloons looked as fresh
and bright as hands could make them. The hall, too, was scoured;
and the great carved clock, as well as the steps and banisters
of the staircase, were polished to the brightness of glass; in
the dining-room, the sideboard flashed resplendent with plate;
in the drawing-room and boudoir, vases of exotics bloomed on all
sides.
Afternoon arrived: Mrs. Fairfax assumed her best black satin
gown, her gloves, and her gold watch; for it was her part to receive
the company,- to conduct the ladies to their rooms, etc. Adele,
too, would be dressed: though I thought she had little chance
of being introduced to the party that day at least. However, to
please her, I allowed Sophie to apparel her in one of her short,
full muslin frocks. For myself, I had no need to make any change;
I should not be called upon to quit my sanctum of the schoolroom;
for a sanctum it was now become to me,- 'a very pleasant refuge
in time of trouble.'
It had been a mild, serene spring day- one of those days which,
towards the end of March or the beginning of April, rise shining
over the earth as heralds of summer. It was drawing to an end
now; but the evening was even warm, and I sat at work in the schoolroom
with the window open.
'It gets late,' said Mrs. Fairfax, entering in rustling state.
'I am glad I ordered dinner an hour after the time Mr. Rochester
mentioned; for it is past six now. I have sent John down to the
gates to see if there is anything on the road: one can see a long
way from thence in the direction of Millcote.' She went to the
window. 'Here he is!' said she. 'Well, John' (leaning out), 'any
news?'
'They're coming, ma'am,' was the answer. 'They'll be here in
ten minutes.'
Adele flew to the window. I followed, taking care to stand on
one side, so that, screened by the curtain, I could see without
being seen.
The ten minutes John had given seemed very long, but at last
wheels were heard; four equestrians galloped up the drive, and
after them came two open carriages. Fluttering veils and waving
plumes filled the vehicles; two of the cavaliers were young, dashing-looking
gentlemen; the third was Mr. Rochester, on his black horse, Mesrour,
Pilot bounding before him; at his side rode a lady, and he and
she were the first of the party. Her purple riding-habit almost
swept the, ground, her veil streamed long on the breeze; mingling
with its transparent folds, and gleaming through them, shone rich
raven ringlets.
'Miss Ingram!' exclaimed Mrs. Fairfax, and away she hurried to
her post below.
The cavalcade, following the sweep of the drive, quickly turned
the angle of the house, and I lost sight of it. Adele now petitioned
to go down; but I took her on my knee, and gave her to understand
that she must not on any account think of venturing in sight of
the ladies, either now or at any other time, unless expressly
sent for: that Mr. Rochester would be very angry, etc. 'Some natural
tears she shed' on being told this; but as I began to look very
grave, she consented at last to wipe them.
A joyous stir was now audible in the hall: gentlemen's deep tones
and ladies' silvery accents blent harmoniously together, and distinguishable
above all, though not loud, was the sonorous voice of the master
of Thornfield Hall, welcoming his fair and gallant guests under
its roof. Then light steps ascended the stairs; and there was
a tripping through the gallery, and soft cheerful laughs, and
opening and closing doors, and, for a time, a hush.
'Elles changent de toilettes,' said Adele; who, listening attentively,
had followed every movement; and she sighed.
'Chez maman,' said she, 'quand il y avait du monde, je le suivais
partout, au salon et a leurs chambres; souvent je regardais les
femmes de chambre coiffer et habiller les dames, et c'etait si
amusant: comme cela on apprend.'
'Don't you feel hungry, Adele?'
'Mais oui, mademoiselle: voila cinq ou six heures que nous n'avons
pas mange.'
'Well now, while the ladies are in their rooms, I will venture
down and get you something to eat.'
And issuing from my asylum with precaution, I sought a backstairs
which conducted directly to the kitchen. All in that region was
fire and commotion; the soup and fish were in the last stage of
projection, and the cook hung over her crucibles in a frame of
mind and body threatening spontaneous combustion. In the servants'
hall two coachmen and three gentlemen's gentlemen stood or sat
round the fire; the abigails, I suppose, were upstairs with their
mistresses; the new servants, that had been hired from Millcote,
were bustling about everywhere. Threading this chaos, I at last
reached the larder; there I took possession of a cold chicken,
a roll of bread, some tarts, a plate or two and a knife and fork:
with this booty I made a hasty retreat. I had regained the gallery,
and was just shutting the back-door behind me, when an accelerated
hum warned me that the ladies were about to issue from their chambers.
I could not proceed to the schoolroom without passing some of
their doors, and running the risk of being surprised with my cargo
of victualage; so I stood still at this end, which, being windowless,
was dark: quite dark now, for the sun was set and twilight gathering.
Presently the chambers gave up their fair tenants one after another:
each came out gaily and airily, with dress that gleamed lustrous
through the dusk. For a moment they stood grouped together at
the other extremity of the gallery, conversing in a key of sweet
subdued vivacity: they then descended the staircase almost as
noiselessly as a bright mist rolls down a hill. Their collective
appearance had left on me an impression of high-born elegance,
such as I had never before received.
I found Adele peeping through the schoolroom door, which she
held ajar. 'What beautiful ladies!' cried she in English. 'Oh,
I wish I might go to them! Do you think Mr. Rochester will send
for us by and by, after dinner?'
'No, indeed, I don't; Mr. Rochester has something else to think
about. Never mind the ladies to-night; perhaps you will see them
to-morrow: here is your dinner.'
She was really hungry, so the chicken and tarts served to divert
her attention for a time. It was well I secured this forage, or
both she, I, and Sophie, to whom I conveyed a share of our repast,
would have run a chance of getting no dinner at all: every one
downstairs was too much engaged to think of us. The dessert was
not carried out till after nine, and at ten footmen were still
running to and fro with trays and coffee-cups. I allowed Adele
to sit up much later than usual; for she declared she could not
possibly go to sleep while the doors kept opening and shutting
below, and people bustling about. Besides, she added, a message
might possibly come from Mr. Rochester when she was undressed;
'et alors quel dommage!'
I told her stories as long as she would listen to them; and then
for a change I took her out into the gallery. The hall lamp was
now lit, and it amused her to look over the balustrade and watch
the servants passing backwards and forwards. When the evening
was far advanced, a sound of music issued from the drawing-room,
whither the piano had been removed; Adele and I sat down on the
top step of the stairs to listen. Presently a voice blent with
the rich tones of the instrument; it was a lady who sang, and
very sweet her notes were. The solo over, a duet followed, and
then a glee: a joyous conversational murmur filled up the intervals.
I listened long: suddenly I discovered that my ear was wholly
intent on analysing the mingled sounds, and trying to discriminate
amidst the confusion of accents those of Mr. Rochester; and when
it caught them, which it soon did, it found a further task in
framing the tones, rendered by distance inarticulate, into words.
The clock struck eleven. I looked at Adele, whose head leant
against my shoulder; her eyes were waxing heavy, so I took her
up in my arms and carried her off to bed. It was near one before
the gentlemen and ladies sought their chambers.
The next day was as fine as its predecessor: it was devoted by
the party to an excursion to some site in the neighbourhood. They
set out early in the forenoon, some on horseback, the rest in
carriages; I witnessed both the departure and the return. Miss
Ingram, as before, was the only lady equestrian; and, as before,
Mr. Rochester galloped at her side; the two rode a little apart
from the rest. I pointed out this circumstance to Mrs. Fairfax,
who was standing at the window with me-
'You said it was not likely they should think of being married,'
said I, 'but you see Mr. Rochester evidently prefers her to any
of the other ladies.'
'Yes, I daresay: no doubt he admires her.'
'And she him,' I added; 'look how she leans her head towards
him as if she were conversing confidentially; I wish I could see
her face; I have never had a glimpse of it yet.'
'You will see her this evening,' answered Mrs. Fairfax. 'I happened
to remark to Mr. Rochester how much Adele wished to be introduced
to the ladies, and he said: "Oh! let her come into the drawing-room
after dinner; and request Miss Eyre to accompany her."'
'Yes; he said that from mere politeness: I need not go, I am
sure,' I answered.
'Well, I observed to him that as you were unused to company,
I did not think you would like appearing before so gay a party-
all strangers; and he replied, in his quick way- "Nonsense!
If she objects, tell her it is my particular wish; and if she
resists, say I shall come and fetch her in case of contumacy."'
'I will not give him that trouble,' I answered. 'I will go, if
no better may be; but I don't like it. Shall you be there, Mrs.
Fairfax?'
'No; I pleaded off, and he admitted my plea. I'll tell you how
to manage so as to avoid the embarrassment of making a formal
entrance, which is the most disagreeable part of the business.
You must go into the drawing-room while it is empty, before the
ladies leave the dinner-table; choose your seat in any quiet nook
you like; you need not stay long after the gentlemen come in,
unless you please: just let Mr. Rochester see you are there and
then slip away- nobody will notice you.'
'Will these people remain long, do you think?'
'Perhaps two or three weeks, certainly not more. After the Easter
recess, Sir George Lynn, who was lately elected member for Millcote,
will have to go up to town and take his seat; I daresay Mr. Rochester
will accompany him: it surprises me that he has already made so
protracted a stay at Thornfield.'
It was with some trepidation that I perceived the hour approach
when I was to repair with my charge to the drawing-room. Adele
had been in a state of ecstasy all day, after hearing she was
to be presented to the ladies in the evening; and it was not till
Sophie commenced the operation of dressing her that she sobered
down. Then the importance of the process quickly steadied her,
and by the time she had her curls arranged in well-smoothed, drooping
clusters, her pink satin frock put on, her long sash tied, and
her lace mittens adjusted, she looked as grave as any judge. No
need to warn her not to disarrange her attire: when she was dressed,
she sat demurely down in her little chair, taking care previously
to lift up the satin skirt for fear she should crease it, and
assured me she would not stir thence till I was ready. This I
quickly was: my best dress (the silver-grey one, purchased for
Miss Temple's wedding, and never worn since) was soon put on;
my hair was soon smoothed; my sole ornament, the pearl brooch,
soon assumed. We descended.
Fortunately there was another entrance to the drawing-room than
that through the saloon where they were all seated at dinner.
We found the apartment vacant; a large fire burning silently on
the marble hearth, and wax candles shining in bright solitude,
amid the exquisite flowers with which the tables were adorned.
The crimson curtain hung before the arch: slight as was the separation
this drapery formed from the party in the adjoining saloon, they
spoke in so low a key that nothing of their conversation could
be distinguished beyond a soothing murmur.
Adele, who appeared to be still under the influence of a most
solemnising impression, sat down, without a word, on the footstool
I pointed out to her. I retired to a window-seat, and taking a
book from a table near, endeavoured to read. Adele brought her
stool to my feet; ere long she touched my knee.
'What is it, Adele?'
'Est-ce que je ne puis pas prendre une seule de ces fleurs magnifiques,
mademoiselle? Seulement pour completer ma toilette.'
'You think too much of your "toilette," Adele: but
you may have a flower.' And I took a rose from a vase and fastened
it in her sash. She sighed a sigh of ineffable satisfaction, as
if her cup of happiness were now full. I turned my face away to
conceal a smile I could not suppress: there was something ludicrous
as well as painful in the little Parisienne's earnest and innate
devotion to matters of dress.
A soft sound of rising now became audible; the curtain was swept
back from the arch; through it appeared the dining-room, with
its lit lustre pouring down light on the silver and glass of a
magnificent dessert-service covering a long table; a band of ladies
stood in the opening; they entered, and the curtain fell behind
them.
There were but eight; yet, somehow, as they flocked in, they
gave the impression of a much larger number. Some of them were
very tall; many were dressed in white; and all had a sweeping
amplitude of array that seemed to magnify their persons as a mist
magnifies the moon. I rose and curtseyed to them: one or two bent
their heads in return, the others only stared at me.
They dispersed about the room, reminding me, by the lightness
and buoyancy of their movements, of a flock of white plumy birds.
Some of them threw themselves in half-reclining positions on the
sofas and ottomans: some bent over the tables and examined the
flowers and books: the rest gathered in a group round the fire:
all talked in a low but clear tone which seemed habitual to them.
I knew their names afterwards, and may as well mention them now.
First, there was Mrs. Eshton and two of her daughters. She had
evidently been a handsome woman, and was well preserved still.
Of her daughters, the eldest, Amy, was rather little: naive, and
child-like in face and manner, and piquant in form; her white
muslin dress and blue sash became her well. The second, Louisa,
was taller and more elegant in figure; with a very pretty face,
of that order the French term minois chiffone: both sisters were
fair as lilies.
Lady Lynn was a large and stout personage of about forty, very
erect, very haughty-looking, richly dressed in a satin robe of
changeful sheen: her dark hair shone glossily under the shade
of an azure plume, and within the circlet of a band of gems.
Mrs. Colonel Dent was less showy; but, I thought, more lady-like.
She had a slight figure, a pale, gentle face, and fair hair. Her
black satin dress, her scarf of rich foreign lace, and her pearl
ornaments, pleased me better than the rainbow radiance of the
titled dame.
But the three most distinguished- partly, perhaps, because the
tallest figures of the band- were the Dowager Lady Ingram and
her daughters, Blanche and Mary. They were all three of the loftiest
stature of women. The Dowager might be between forty and fifty:
her shape was still fine; her hair (by candlelight at least) still
black; her teeth, too, were still apparently perfect. Most people
would have termed her a splendid woman of her age: and so she
was, no doubt, physically speaking; but then there was an expression
of almost insupportable haughtiness in her bearing and countenance.
She had Roman features and a double chin, disappearing into a
throat like a pillar: these features appeared to me not only inflated
and darkened, but even furrowed with pride; and the chin was sustained
by the same principle, in a position of almost preternatural erectness.
She had, likewise, a fierce and a hard eye: it reminded me of
Mrs. Reed's; she mouthed her words in speaking; her voice was
deep, its inflections very pompous, very dogmatical,- very intolerable,
in short. A crimson velvet robe, and a shawl turban of some gold-wrought
Indian fabric, invested her (I suppose she thought) with a truly
imperial dignity.
Blanche and Mary were of equal stature,- straight and tall as
poplars. Mary was too slim for her height, but Blanche was moulded
like a Dian. I regarded her, of course, with special interest.
First, I wished to see whether her appearance accorded with Mrs.
Fairfax's description; secondly, whether it at all resembled the
fancy miniature I had painted of her; and thirdly- it will out!-
whether it were such as I should fancy likely to suit Mr. Rochester's
taste.
As far as person went, she answered point for point, both to
my picture and Mrs. Fairfax's description. The noble bust, the
sloping shoulders, the graceful neck, the dark eyes and black
ringlets were all there;- but her face? Her face was like her
mother's; a youthful unfurrowed likeness: the same low brow, the
same high features, the same pride. It was not, however, so saturnine
a pride! she laughed continually; her laugh was satirical, and
so was the habitual expression of her arched and haughty lip.
Genius is said to be self-conscious. I cannot tell whether Miss
Ingram was a genius, but she was self-conscious- remarkably self-conscious
indeed. She entered into a discourse on botany with the gentle
Mrs. Dent. It seemed Mrs. Dent had not studied that science: though,
as she said, she liked flowers, 'especially wild ones'; Miss Ingram
had, and she ran over its vocabulary with an air. I presently
perceived she was (what is vernacularly termed) trailing Mrs.
Dent; that is, playing on her ignorance: her trail might be clever,
but it was decidedly not good-natured. She played: her execution
was brilliant; she sang, her voice was fine; she talked French
apart to her mama; and she talked it well, with fluency and with
a good accent.
Mary had a milder and more open countenance than Blanche; softer
features too, and a skin some shades fairer (Miss Ingram was dark
as a Spaniard)- but Mary was deficient in life: her face lacked
expression, her eye lustre; she had nothing to say, and having
once taken her seat, remained fixed like a statue in its niche.
The sisters were both attired in spotless white.
And did I now think Miss Ingram such a choice as Mr. Rochester
would be likely to make? I could not tell- I did not know his
taste in female beauty. If he liked the majestic, she was the
very type of majesty: then she was accomplished, sprightly. Most
gentlemen would admire her, I thought; and that he did admire
her, I already seemed to have obtained proof: to remove the last
shade of doubt, it remained but to see them together.
You are not to suppose, reader, that Adele has all this time
been sitting motionless on the stool at my feet: no; when the
ladies entered, she rose, advanced to meet them, made a stately
reverence, and said with gravity-
'Bon jour, mesdames.'
And Miss Ingram had looked down at her with a mocking air, and
exclaimed, 'Oh, what a little puppet!'
Lady Lynn had remarked, 'It is Mr. Rochester's ward, I suppose-
the little French girl he was speaking of.'
Mrs. Dent had kindly taken her hand, and given her a kiss. Amy
and Louisa Eshton had cried out simultaneously-
'What a love of a child!'
And then they had called her to a sofa, where she now sat, ensconced
between them, chattering alternately in French and broken English;
absorbing not only the young ladies' attention, but that of Mrs.
Eshton and Lady Lynn, and getting spoilt to her heart's content.
At last coffee is brought in, and the gentlemen are summoned.
I sit in the shade- if any shade there be in this brilliantly-lit
apartment; the window-curtain half hides me. Again the arch yawns;
they come. The collective appearance of the gentlemen, like that
of the ladies, is very imposing: they are all costumed in black;
most of them are tall, some young. Henry and Frederick Lynn are
very dashing sparks indeed; and Colonel Dent is a fine soldierly
man. Mr. Eshton, the magistrate of the district, is gentleman-like:
his hair is quite white, his eyebrows and whiskers still dark,
which gives him something of the appearance of a 'pere noble de
theatre.' Lord Ingram, like his sisters, is very tall; like them,
also, he is handsome; but he shares Mary's apathetic and listless
look: he seems to have more length of limb than vivacity of blood
or vigour of brain.
And where is Mr. Rochester?
He comes in last: I am not looking at the arch, yet I see him
enter. I try to concentrate my attention on those netting-needles,
on the meshes of the purse I am forming- I wish to think only
of the work I have in my hands, to see only the silver beads and
silk threads that lie in my lap; whereas, I distinctly behold
his figure, and I inevitably recall the moment when I last saw
it; just after I had rendered him, what he deemed, an essential
service, and he, holding my hand, and looking down on my face,
surveyed me with eyes that revealed a heart full and eager to
overflow; in whose emotions I had a part. How near had I approached
him at that moment! What had occurred since, calculated to change
his and my relative positions? Yet now, how distant, how far estranged
we were! So far estranged, that I did not expect him to come and
speak to me. I did not wonder, when, without looking at me, he
took a seat at the other side of the room, and began conversing
with some of the ladies.
No sooner did I see that his attention was riveted on them, and
that I might gaze without being observed, than my eyes were drawn
involuntarily to his face; I could not keep their lids under control:
they would rise, and the irids would fix on him. I looked, and
had an acute pleasure in looking,- a precious yet poignant pleasure;
pure gold, with a steely point of agony: a pleasure like what
the thirst-perishing man might feel who knows the well to which
he has crept is poisoned, yet stoops and drinks divine draughts
nevertheless.
Most true is it that 'beauty is in the eye of the gazer.' My
master's colourless, olive face, square, massive brow, broad and
jetty eyebrows, deep eyes, strong features, firm, grim mouth,-
all energy, decision, will,- were not beautiful, according to
rule; but they were more than beautiful to me; they were full
of an interest, an influence that quite mastered me,- that took
my feelings from my own power and fettered them in his. I had
not intended to love him; the reader knows I had wrought hard
to extirpate from my soul the germs of love there detected; and
now, at the first renewed view of him, they spontaneously arrived,
green and strong! He made me love him without looking at me.
I compared him with his guests. What was the gallant grace of
the Lynns, the languid elegance of Lord Ingram,- even the military
distinction of Colonel Dent, contrasted with his look of native
pith and genuine power? I had no sympathy in their appearance,
their expression: yet I could imagine that most observers would
call them attractive, handsome, imposing; while they would pronounce
Mr. Rochester at once harsh-featured and melancholy-looking. I
saw them smile, laugh- it was nothing; the light of the candles
had as much soul in it as their smile; the tinkle of the bell
as much significance as their laugh. I saw Mr. Rochester smile:-
his stern features softened; his eye grew both brilliant and gentle,
its ray both searching and sweet. He was talking, at the moment,
to Louisa and Amy Eshton. I wondered to see them receive with
calm that look which seemed to me so penetrating: I expected their
eyes to fall, their colour to rise under it; yet I was glad when
I found they were in no sense moved. 'He is not to them what he
is to me,' I thought: 'he is not of their kind. I believe he is
of mine;- I am sure he is- I feel akin to him- I understand the
language of his countenance and movements: though rank and wealth
sever us widely, I have something in my brain and heart, in my
blood and nerves, that assimilates me mentally to him. Did I say,
a few days since, that I had nothing to do with him but to receive
my salary at his hands? Did I forbid myself to think of him in
any other light than as a paymaster? Blasphemy against nature!
Every good, true, vigorous feeling I have gathers impulsively
round him. I know I must conceal my sentiments: I must smother
hope; I must remember that he cannot care much for me. For when
I say that I am of his kind, I do not mean that I have his force
to influence, and his spell to attract; I mean only that I have
certain tastes and feelings in common with him. I must, then,
repeat continually that we are for ever sundered:- and yet, while
I breathe and think, I must love him.'
Coffee is handed. The ladies, since the gentlemen entered, have
become lively as larks; conversation waxes brisk and merry. Colonel
Dent and Mr. Eshton argue on politics; their wives listen. The
two proud dowagers, Lady Lynn and Lady Ingram, confabulate together.
Sir George- whom, by the bye, I have forgotten to describe,- a
very big, and very fresh-looking country gentleman, stands before
their sofa, coffee-cup in hand, and occasionally puts in a word.
Mr. Frederick Lynn has taken a seat beside Mary Ingram, and is
showing her the engravings of a splendid volume: she looks, smiles
now and then, but apparently says little. The tall and phlegmatic
Lord Ingram leans with folded arms on the chair-back of the little
and lively Amy Eshton; she glances up at him, and chatters like
a wren: she likes him better than she does Mr. Rochester. Henry
Lynn has taken possession of an ottoman at the feet of Louisa:
Adele shares it with him: he is trying to talk French with her,
and Louisa laughs at his blunders. With whom will Blanche Ingram
pair? She is standing alone at the table, bending gracefully over
an album. She seems waiting to be sought; but she will not wait
too long: she herself selects a mate.
Mr. Rochester, having quitted the Eshtons, stands on the hearth
as solitary as she stands by the table: she confronts him, taking
her station on the opposite side of the mantelpiece.
'Mr. Rochester, I thought you were not fond of children?'
'Nor am I.'
'Then, what induced you to take charge of such a little doll
as that?' (pointing to Adele). 'Where did you pick her up?'
'I did not pick her up; she was left on my hands.'
'You should have sent her to school.'
'I could not afford it: schools are so dear.'
'Why, I suppose you have a governess for her: I saw a person
with her just now- is she gone? Oh, no! there she is still, behind
the window-curtain. You pay her, of course; I should think it
quite as expensive,- more so; for you have them both to keep in
addition.'
I feared- or should I say, hoped?- the allusion to me would make
Mr. Rochester glance my way; and I involuntarily shrank farther
into the shade: but he never turned his eyes.
'I have not considered the subject,' said he indifferently, looking
straight before him.
'No, you men never do consider economy and common sense. You
should hear mama on the chapter of governesses: Mary and I have
had, I should think, a dozen at least in our day; half of them
detestable and the rest ridiculous, and all incubi- were they
not, mama?'
'Did you speak, my own?'
The young lady thus claimed as the dowager's special property,
reiterated her question with an explanation.
'My dearest, don't mention governesses; the word makes me nervous.
I have suffered a martyrdom from their incompetency and caprice.
I thank Heaven I have now done with them!'
Mrs. Dent here bent over to the pious lady, and whispered something
in her car; I suppose, from the answer elicited, it was a reminder
that one of the anathematised race was present.
'Tant pis!' said her ladyship, 'I hope it may do her good!' Then,
in a lower tone, but still loud enough for me to hear, 'I noticed
her; I am a judge of physiognomy, and in hers I see all the faults
of her class.'
'What are they, madam?' inquired Mr. Rochester aloud.
'I will tell you in your private ear,' replied she, wagging her
turban three times with portentous significancy.
'But my curiosity will be past its appetite; it craves food now.'
'Ask Blanche; she is nearer you than I.'
'Oh, don't refer him to me, mama! I have just one word to say
of the whole tribe; they are a nuisance. Not that I ever suffered
much from them; I took care to turn the tables. What tricks Theodore
and I used to play on our Miss Wilsons, and Mrs. Greys, and Madame
Jouberts! Mary was always too sleepy to join in a plot with spirit.
The best fun was with Madame Joubert: Miss Wilson was a poor sickly
thing, lachrymose and low-spirited, not worth the trouble of vanquishing,
in short; and Mrs. Grey was coarse and insensible; no blow took
effect on her. But poor Madame Joubert! I see her yet in her raging
passions, when we had driven her to extremities- spilt our tea,
crumbled our bread and butter, tossed our books up to the ceiling,
and played a charivari with the ruler and desk, the fender and
fire-irons. Theodore, do you remember those merry days?'
'Yaas, to be sure I do,' drawled Lord Ingram; 'and the poor old
stick used to cry out "Oh you villains childs!"- and
then we sermonised her on the presumption of attempting to teach
such clever blades as we were, when she was herself so ignorant.'
'We did; and, Tedo, you know, I helped you in prosecuting (or
persecuting) your tutor, whey-faced Mr. Vining- the parson in
the pip, as we used to call him. He and Miss Wilson took the liberty
of falling in love with each other- at least Tedo and I thought
so; we surprised sundry tender glances and sighs which we interpreted
as tokens of "la belle passion," and I promise you the
public soon had the benefit of our discovery; we employed it as
a sort of lever to hoist our dead-weights from the house. Dear
mama, there, as soon as she got an inkling of the business, found
out that it was of an immoral tendency. Did you not, my lady-mother?'
'Certainly, my best. And I was quite right: depend on that: there
are a thousand reasons why liaisons between governesses and tutors
should never be tolerated a moment in any well-regulated house;
firstly-'
'Oh, gracious, mama! Spare us the enumeration! Au reste, we all
know them: danger of bad example to innocence of childhood; distractions
and consequent neglect of duty on the part of the attached- mutual
alliance and reliance; confidence thence resulting- insolence
accompanying- mutiny and general blowup. Am I right, Baroness
Ingram, of Ingram Park?'
'My lily-flower, you are right now, as always.'
'Then no more need be said: change the subject.'
Amy Eshton, not hearing or not heeding this dictum, joined in
with her soft, infantine tone: 'Louisa and I used to quiz our
governess too; but she was such a good creature, she would bear
anything: nothing put her out. She was never cross with us; was
she, Louisa?'
'No, never: we might do what we pleased; ransack her desk and
her workbox, and turn her drawers inside out; and she was so good-natured,
she would give us anything we asked for.'
'I suppose, now,' said Miss Ingram, curling her lip sarcastically,
'we shall have an abstract of the memoirs of all the governesses
extant: in order to avert such a visitation, I again move the
introduction of a new topic. Mr. Rochester, do you second my motion?'
'Madam, I support you on this point, as on every other.'
'Then on me be the onus of bringing it forward. Signior Eduardo,
are you in voice to-night?'
'Donna Bianca, if you command it, I will be.'
'Then, signior, I lay on you my sovereign behest to furbish up
your lungs and other vocal organs, as they will be wanted on my
royal service.'
'Who would not be the Rizzio of so divine a Mary?'
'A fig for Rizzio!' cried she, tossing her head with all its
curls, as she moved to the piano. 'It is my opinion the fiddler
David must have been an insipid sort of fellow; I like black Bothwell
better: to my mind a man is nothing without a spice of the devil
in him; and history may say what it will of James Hepburn, but
I have a notion, he was just the sort of wild, fierce, bandit
hero whom I could have consented to gift with my hand.'
'Gentlemen, you hear! Now which of you most resembles Bothwell?'
cried Mr. Rochester.
'I should say the preference lies with you,' responded Colonel
Dent.
'On my honour, I am much obliged to you,' was the reply.
Miss Ingram, who had now seated herself with proud grace at the
piano, spreading out her snowy robes in queenly amplitude, commenced
a brilliant prelude; talking meantime. She appeared to be on her
high horse to-night; both her words and her air seemed intended
to excite not only the admiration, but the amazement of her auditors:
she was evidently bent on striking them as something very dashing
and daring indeed.
'Oh, I am so sick of the young men of the present day!' exclaimed
she, rattling away at the instrument. 'Poor, puny things, not
fit to stir a step beyond papa's park gates: nor to go even so
far without mama's permission and guardianship! Creatures so absorbed
in care about their pretty faces, and their white hands, and their
small feet; as if a man had anything to do with beauty! As if
loveliness were not the special prerogative of woman- her legitimate
appanage and heritage! I grant an ugly woman is a blot on the
fair face of creation; but as to the gentlemen, let them be solicitous
to possess only strength and valour: let their motto be:- Hunt,
shoot, and fight: the rest is not worth a fillip. Such should
be my device, were I a man.'
'Whenever I marry,' she continued after a pause which none interrupted,
'I am resolved my husband shall not be a rival, but a foil to
me. I will suffer no competitor near the throne; I shall exact
an undivided homage: his devotions shall not be shared between
me and the shape he sees in his mirror. Mr. Rochester, now sing,
and I will play for you.'
'I am all obedience,' was the response.
'Here then is a Corsair-song. Know that I doat on Corsairs; and
for that reason, sing it con spirito.'
'Commands from Miss Ingram's lips would put spirit into a mug
of milk and water.'
'Take care, then: if you don't please me, I will shame you by
showing how such things should be done.'
'That is offering a premium on incapacity: I shall now endeavour
to fail.'
'Gardez-vous en bien! If you err wilfully, I shall devise a proportionate
punishment.'
'Miss Ingram ought to be clement, for she has it in her power
to inflict a chastisement beyond mortal endurance.'
'Ha! explain!' commanded the lady.
'Pardon me, madam: no need of explanation; your own fine sense
must inform you that one of your frowns would be a sufficient
substitute for capital punishment.'
'Sing!' said she, and again touching the piano, she commenced
an accompaniment in spirited style.
'Now is my time to slip away,' thought I: but the tones that
then severed the air arrested me. Mrs. Fairfax had said Mr. Rochester
possessed a fine voice: he did- a mellow, powerful bass, into
which he threw his own feeling, his own force: finding a way through
the ear to the heart, and there waking sensation strangely. I
waited till the last deep and full vibration had expired- till
the tide of talk, checked an instant, had resumed its flow; I
then quitted my sheltered corner and made my exit by the side-door,
which was fortunately near. Thence a narrow passage led into the
hall: in crossing it, I perceived my sandal was loose; I stopped
to tie it, kneeling down for that purpose on the mat at the foot
of the staircase. I heard the dining-room door unclose; a gentleman
came out; rising hastily, I stood face to face with him: it was
Mr. Rochester.
'How do you do?' he asked.
'I am very well, sir.'
'Why did you not come and speak to me in the room?'
I thought I might have retorted the question on him who put it:
but I would not take that freedom. I answered-
'I did not wish to disturb you, as you seemed engaged, sir.'
'What have you been doing during my absence?'
'Nothing particular; teaching Adele as usual.'
'And getting a good deal paler than you were- as I saw at first
sight. What is the matter?'
'Nothing at all, sir.'
'Did you take any cold that night you half drowned me?'
'Not the least.'
'Return to the drawing-room: you are deserting too early.'
'I am tired, sir.'
He looked at me for a minute.
'And a little depressed,' he said. 'What about? Tell me.'
'Nothing- nothing, sir. I am not depressed.'
'But I affirm that you are: so much depressed that a few more
words would bring tears to your eyes- indeed, they are there now,
shining and swimming; and a bead has slipped from the lash and
fallen on to the flag. If I had time, and was not in mortal dread
of some prating prig of a servant passing, I would know what all
this means. Well, to-night I excuse you; but understand that so
long as my visitors stay, I expect you to appear in the drawing-room
every evening; it is my wish; don't neglect it. Now go, and send
Sophie for Adele. Good-night, my-' He stopped, bit his lip, and
abruptly left me.
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