| [Interlude]
[Cut to Shan Yu sitting on top of a tree. He cuts off the very
top with his sword. His falcon swoops buy and drops a doll. Shan-Yu
takesthe doll, sniffs it, looks surprised, and drops down to the
ground]
Shan-Yu [tossing the doll to Hun Strong Man]: What do you see?
Hun Strong Man [feeling the doll]: Black pine, from the high
mountains. [Long Hair Hun Man takes the doll from Hun Strong Man.
BaldHun Man #1 takes a hair as it passes by him]
Bald Hun Man #1: White horse hair. Imperial stallions.
Long Hair Hun Man [sniffing the doll]: Sulfur, from cannons.
Shan-Yu: This doll came from a village in the Tung Shao Pass,
where the Imperial Army's waiting for us.
Hun Archer: We can avoid them easily.
Shan-Yu [shaking his head]: No, the quickest way to the Emperor
is through that pass. Besides, the little girl will be missing
her doll. Weshould return it to her.
[End Interlude]
[Cut to Mulan by the lake with Mushu, Khan, and Cri-Kee]
Mushu: Hey, oh, ah, no, this is not a good idea. What if somebody
sees you?
Mulan [from behind the reeds]: Just because I look like a man
doesn't mean I have to smell like one.
Mushu [holding a towel covering his eyes with his ears]: So a
couple of guys don't rinse out their socks, picky, picky, picky.
Well myself Ikinda like that corn chip's smell.
Mulan [running by Mushu and jumps into the lake splashing water
on Mushu]: Ahhhhhhh.
Mushu: Okay, all right, all right, that's enough. Now, c'mon,
get out before you get all pruny and stuff [holding out a towel
towards Mulankeeping his eyes covered].
Mulan: Mushu, if you're so worried, go stand watch.
Mushu: Yeah, yeah, [walking in a womanly fashion speaking in
woman's voice] stand watch Mushu while I blow our secret with
my stupidgirly habits. [back to normal] Humph, hygiene.
Cri-Kee [alarmed, tugging on Mushu's whiskers]: Chirp, Chirp.
Yao: Me first! Me first! Me First! [Yao, Ling and Chien-Po run
by Mushu smacking him in the face with colored boxers]
Mushu [gasps]: Ah. We're doomed! There a couple of things I know
they're bound to notice!
[Yao and Ling jump into the water. Chien-Po dips in his toe to
check temperature then jumps in causing a large wave. Yao and
Ling ridethe wave towards Mulan. Mulan sees them and hides her
face behind a lily pad]
Yao [calling]: Hey, Ping.
[Mulan peeks over the lily pad and spreads it on the water covering
her chest]
Mulan [speaking nervously and unnaturally in a manly voice]:
Oh hi guys, I didn't know you were *here*. [Yao, Ling and Chien-Po
share"this boy is strange" looks] I was just washing,
so now I'm clean and I'm gonna go. Bye, bye. [Mulan hides behind
a rock keeping her frontfacing the rock]
Ling [from behind Mulan]: Come back here. I know we were jerks
to you before so lets start over. [extending his hand to shake
hands withMulan] Hi, I'm Ling!
Mulan [covering her chest with her left arm, she turns and shakes
his hand with an outstretched right arm, smiling]: Heh, heh. [Mulan
turnsand wades away from Ling and runs into Chien-Po]
Chien-Po [taking a lily pad off his head]: And I'm Chien-Po.
Mulan [waving slightly and smiling]: Hello Chien-Po.
[Yao stands on top of a rock looking down at the others. Mulan
looks down into the water and hides her eyes with her free hand]
Yao: And I am Yao, king of the rock. And there's nothin' you
girls can do about it.
Ling [taking a fighting stance]: Oh, yeah? Well, I think Ping
[elbowing Mulan] and I could take you.
Mulan [wading away]: I really don't want to take him anywhere.
Ling [following Mulan]: Ping, we have to fight!
Mulan: No we don't. [unnaturally] We could just close our eyes
and swim around.
Ling: C'mon don't be such a g--Ouch! Something bit me.
Mushu [popping out of the water between Mulan and Ling]: What
a nasty flavor.
Ling [with fear and gusto]: Snake!
Chien-Po [while all three of them climb up the rock and on each
other]: Snake, snake.
[Mulan whistles for Khan and wades back to shore. Khan comes
close enough to shore and Mulan hides behind Khan as she wraps
a towelaround her body]
[Cut to Yao, Ling and Chien-Po calmed down sitting on the rock]
Ling: Some king of the rock! [Yao pushes him off the rock]
[Cut to Mulan with towel wrapped around her]
Mulan: Boy, that was close.
Mushu [brushing his teeth]: No, that was vile! You owe me big!
Mulan: I never want to see a naked man again. [the rest of the
troops run by naked and jump into the lake]
Mushu: Hey, don't look at me. I ain't biting any more butts.
[Cut to Mulan outside Chi Fu's Tent having dressed fully. Chi
Fu and Shang are talking from inside]
Chi Fu [fading in]: You think your troops are ready to fight?
Hah! They would not last a minute against the Huns.
Shang: They completed their training.
Chi Fu: Those *boys* are no more fit to be soldiers than you
are to be Captain. Once the general reads my report, your troops
will neversee battle.
Mushu [from outside the tent]: Oh no you don't. I've worked to
hard to get Mulan into this war. [to Cri-Kee] This guy's messing
with myplan.
Shang [grabbing onto the front of Chi Fu's clip board]: We're
not finished.
Chi Fu [pulling the board away]: Be careful, Captain. The General
may be your father, but I am the Emperor's council. And, oh, by
theway, huh, I got that job on my own. [opens the entrance to
the tent for Shang] You're dismissed.
[Shang storms out of the tent and starts to walk by Mulan]
Mulan [in a manly voice]: Hey, I'll hold him and you punch, heh,
heh... [Shang walks by without reacting] or not. [calling out
to Shang] For what it's worth, I think you're a great captain.
[Shang pauses to glance back, then continues forward]
Mushu [looking at Mulan's fixed gaze on Shang]: I saw that!
Mulan [innocently]: What?
Mushu [teasing]: You like him don't you?
Mulan: No, I--
Mushu: Yeah right, Yeah sure. Look, [pointing to Mulan's tent]
go to your tent. [Mulan walks away with a look of delight. Mushu
talks toCri-Kee] I think it's time we took this war into our own
hands [rubbing hands together].
[Mushu and Cri-Kee wait outside Chi Fu's Tent. Chi Fu emerges
with carrying a scrub brush and wrapped in a towel and with bigshowering
slippers on his feet. He whistles as he walks off. Mushu and Cri-Kee
enter his tent. Cri-Kee uses his legs to write up a letter. Hefinishes
and Mushu takes the paper]
Mushu: Okay, okay, let me see what you've got. From General Li,
dear son, we're waiting for the huns at the pass and it would
mean a lotif you'd come and back us up. [sarcastically] That's
great except you forgot, "and since we're all out of potpourri,
maybe you wouldn'tmind bringing up some." Hellooooo, this
is the army! Make it sound more urgent, please! You know what
I'm talkin' about? [Cri-Kee startswriting the note again] That's
better, much better. [taking the note] Okay, Let's go.
[Cut to Khan drinking water from the trough. Mushu is on his
back]
Mushu: Khan-ie baby, hey, we need a ride. [Khan squirts Mushu
off his back with water from his mouth]
[Cut to Chi Fu walking out of the lake wrapped in a towel, sounds
of laughter can be heart from the troops]
Chi Fu [muttering]: Insubordinate ruffians. [then calling to
the troops] You men owe me a new pair of slippers. And I do not
squeal like agirl. [a panda bear chomps down on the slipper Chi
Fu is holding] Aaaaaahhhhhh!
Mushu [sitting on top of the panda bear behind a dummy of a soldier
using sticks to gesticulate with the dummy's arms to push the
notetowards Chi Fu. Cri-Kee works the mouth]: Urgent news from
the general! [Chi Fu looks over the panda] What's the matter,
you've neverseen a 'black and white' before?
Chi Fu: Who are you?
Mushu: Excuse me! I think the question is: who are you? We're
in a war man! There's no time for stupid questions. I should have
yourhat for that, [the panda starts walking forward] snatch it
right off of your head [swiping with an arm at Chi Fu's hat. Mushu
turns the upperhalf of the dummy around after the panda passes
Chi Fu. Chi Fu begins reading the message]. But I'm feeling gracious
today, so carry onbefore I report you. [the panda walks up a tree
taking Mushu and Cri-Kee with him out of sight]
Chi Fu [looking around for Mushu but not finding him, then runs
into Shang's tent]: Captain. Urgent news from the General. We're
neededat the front.
Mushu [from up in the tree]: Pack your bags Cri-Kee, we're movin'
out. [Cri-Kee high fives Mushu]
[Song: A Girl Worth Fighting For]
Army Chorus [troops walking up hill]:For a long time we've been
marching off to battle
Yao [close-up of Yao, then a shot of 2 cows]: In a thundering
herd we feel a lot like cattle
Cow [spoken]: Moo
Army Chorus [showing troops marching]:Like the pounding beat
our aching feet aren't easy to ignore
Ling [catching up to Yao and Chien-Po]:Hey, think of instead,A
girl worth fighting for [Yao, Ling and Chien-Po look upwards dreamily]
Mulan [spoken from behind]: Huh?
Ling [grabbing Mulan and drawing her close while pulling out
a centerfold]:That's what I said, a girl worth fighting for [Mulan
runs away seeing the centerfold]
[artistry section where the images are drawn like painted people.
Ling is seen looking at a woman and then kissing her]I want her
paler than the moon with eyes that shine like stars
Yao [lifting and lowering a woman over his head then opening
his chest to show a gaping wound that we can see the woman through]:My
girl will marvel at my strength, adore my battle scars
Chien-Po [Chien-Po and a woman circle around then land on the
edge of a large bowl of rice as a cow, pig and chicken fall beside
them]:I couldn't care less what she'll wear or what she looks
likeIt all depends on what she cooks like:Beef, pork, chicken...
[end painted people section, the last image fades into statues
that the troops just passed]
All Three:Mmm...
Yao [looking at Mulan while crossing the river with swords over
their heads. Mulan looks disgusted and hurries forward]:Bet the
local girls thought you were quite the charmer
Ling [with armor full of water to make him look muscular]:And
I'll bet the ladies love a man in armor [the water leaks out making
Ling look like his normal self]
Army Chorus [Mushu whistles to ladies working in the rice field
from out of the carriage holding cannons. Cri-Kee looks shocked.
Theladies look and giggle at Mulan who hides her face]:You can
guess what we have missed the most since we went off to warWhat
do we want?A girl worth fighting for!
Yao [Mulan walks away from Yao and into Chien-Po]:My girl will
think I have no faults
Chien-Po:That I'm a major find
Mulan [Caught between Yao, Ling, and Chien-Po who all look up
dreamily waiting for her ideal woman. She is forced to speak (sing)]:[spoken]
Uh, [singing] How about a girl who's got a brain, [Yao starts
to look unimpressed]Who always speaks her mind? [Mulan shrugs
her shoulders]
Ling, Yao and Chien-Po [disdainfully, looking disappointed and
disgusted]: Nah!
Ling [grabbing Mulan's shoulder and leaning on her, she takes
his hand off and shakes her head disapprovingly. Ling leans against
thecarriage of cannons]:My manly ways and turns of phrase are
sure to thrill her
Yao [hitting Khan so that the carriage runs out from under Ling.
Ling looks upset then falls in the mud]:He thinks he's such a
lady-killer!
Chi Fu:I've a girl back home who's unlike any other.
Yao [aside to Mulan]:Yeah, the only girl who'd love him is his
mother! [Mulan smiles]
Army Men [lining up locking arms across each others shoulders
with Mulan in the middle to her discontent]:But when we come home
in victory they'll line up at the door!
Ling [sitting on top of Chien-Po]:What do we want?
Army Chorus:A girl worth fighting for!
Ling:Wish that I had
Army Chorus [Mulan breaks away and walks in the opposite direction
of the army]:A girl worth fighting for!(whistle) [Mulan sees Ling,
Yao, and Chien-Po with snowballs about to pelt her so she turns
around] A girl worth fighting--
[All have stunned looks on their faces]
[End Song]
[Cut to ruins of a burned out village. The soldiers walk through
the singed gate and look around at the few planks that remain
from thebuildings]
|
