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Roman Holiday
PART 3
IRVING
Er, a nervous straight
(lays his cards down; Then, with relish)
Come home, you beauties.
(Counting his money as he picks it up; Joe looks on grimly)
Now, look at that: six thousand five hundred--ah, not bad, that's
ten bucks.
(As the dealer gathers the cards back and Joe does up his tie)
Er, one more round and I'm gonna throw you gents right out in the
snow...
(The remaining players objective to his leaving:)
Say-; what-; wait a minute-, etc.
IRVING
I got to get up early: date with Her Royal Highness who will
(dramatically)
graciously pose for some pictures.
JOE
What do you mean, early? My personal invitation says eleven forty-five.
CARD PLAYER 1
Couldn't be anything to do with the fact that you're ahead?
IRVING
(smiling)
It could.
JOE
It works out fine for me: this is my last five thousand and you
hyenas are not gonna get it.
(Putting his money in his pocket, patting Irving on the back)
Thanks a lot, Irving.
IRVING
Yeah.
JOE
(getting up)
See you at Annie's little party in the morning.
IRVING
Ciao, Joe.
JOE
(picking up his jacket off the back of the chair)
Yeah, ciao.
(The other men say goodbye: )
Goodnight, Joe; Ciao; Stay sober, etc.
IRVING
(as Joe leaves)
Alright! a little seven card stud.
CARD PLAYER 1
Ok with me.
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(Joe Bradley walks along the street, hands in pockets. He slows
down by a park bench. Princess Ann is lying on it and Joe glances
at her curiously as he walks by.)
ANN
(sounding drunk because of the drug's effect)
Sooooo happy.
(Joe stops, turning round to look at her. Interrupting, as Joe almost
walks on)
How are you this evening?
(She stirs on the bench, luxuriously)
Mmmmmmmmm.... hmmmmm.... mmmmmmmmmmm..."
JOE
(rushing over to prevent her from falling off)
Hey! hey, hey, hey.
(Turning her on her back)
Hey, wake up!
ANN
Thank you very much, delighted.
JOE
Wake up.
ANN
No, thank you.
(Raising her gloved hand to him)
Charmed.
JOE
(tentatively, shaking her hand)
Charmed too.
ANN
(after a pause)
You may sit down.
JOE
I think you better sit up; much too young to get picked up by the
police.
ANN
(as he straightens her)
Police?
JOE
Yep, po-lice.
ANN
Two-fifteen and back here to change. Two forty-five..
(she wavers slightly, not fully awake.)
JOE
(putting a foot up on the bench)
You know: people who can't handle liquor shouldn't drink it.
ANN
(she looks up at him)
If I were dead and buried and I heard your voice beneath the sod
my heart of dust would still rejoice. Do you know that poem?
JOE
Huh, what do you know?
(Sitting down)
You're well-read, well-dressed; you're snoozing away in a public
street. Would you care to make a statement?
ANN
What the world needs is a return to sweetness and decency in the
souls of its young men and--
(unable to support it, her head falls on his shoulder)
mmmmmhhhhhhhhmmmmm.....
JOE
(he takes his money from his breast pocket and puts it into his
trouser one)
Yeah, I er, couldn't agree with you more, but erm--
(hears a car approaches and whistles. A taxi pulls up. Joe gets
up, pats her on the shoulder.)
Get yourself some coffee; you'll be alright.
(He goes over to the cab, looks back to see her lying back down.
The driver notices too and looks away innocently when he sees Joe
looking at him. Joe goes back over to Ann, trying to stir her)
Look: you take the cab.
ANN
(without stirring)
Mmmmm.
(Joe looks back at the driver who rests his arm against the window,
impatiently.)
JOE
Come on;
(takes her up by the arm)
climb in the cab and go home.
ANN
(as she drags herself to her feet, helped by Joe)
Mmmmm...mmmmmm, so happy.
JOE
You got any money?
ANN
Never carry money.
JOE
That's a bad habit.
ANN
Mm.
JOE
Alright, I'll drop you off; come on.
(He leads her to the taxi.)
ANN
(brightly; noticing it for the first time)
It's a taxi!
JOE
Well, it's not the superchief.
(He follows her into the cab.)
CAB DRIVER
(says something in Italian)
Where are we going?
JOE
(to Ann)
Where do you live?
ANN
Mmmmmm?
(Closing her eyes)
Colliseum.
JOE
Now, come on, you're not that drunk.
ANN
(laughing)
If you're so smart I'm not drunk at all. I'm just being
(her head falls against his chest)
verrrrry haaaappy......
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